NEWSWORTHY NETWORK a division of Data Central Corporation Personnel Management Dept. * * * * * * * * * * PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION - CONFIDENTIAL
EMPLOYEE #16 COMPANY PSYCHOLOGIST: Dr. Fritz Leberhosen EMPLOYEE NAME: Benedict, William Barnes ADDRESS: 1178 Gable Blvd., Hollywood Park, OKC Sector West POSITION: Vice-President in Charge of Humor Research & Processing EMPLOYEE SINCE: 1982 DATE OF BIRTH: June 22, 1956 HEIGHT: 5'9" WEIGHT: 235 HAIR: blonde EYES: blue SPOUSE (IF ANY): Sarah Lucille Vandergeld Benedict SPOUSE'S EMPLOYER: Newsworthy Network (Production Dept.) EDUCATION: Bachelor of Arts, Class of '78, Darlington College, Darlington TN. (art major) MEDICAL HISTORY: Overweight. Depressed. No major diseases, operations or accidents. FAMILY HISTORY: Abandoned by mother at age nine (with older brother Jeremy). Brother killed in car racing incident during high school. While away at college, father suicided after foreclosure on dairy farm. Remaining family ties negligible. SEXUAL HISTORY: Married three decades to same woman -- increasingly abnormal. Watch for extramarital pressure-release. Possibly useful erotic obsessions. CURRENT SYMPTOMS: Suicidal behavior patterns; resistance to legitimate authority; infantile jokes in the face of serious issues; recurring mid-life anxieties. RECURRENT SYMPTOMS: Same. DIAGNOSIS: Millennial Survivor's Guilt Syndrome. PRESCRIPTION: 70 cc Melodram daily PROGNOSIS: Possibly past successful resolution; lost motivation to get well; resists medication. RECOMMENDATION: Keep under surveillance at all times; seek cooperation from home data module to regulate medication. Refer to Euthanasia Parlor?
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