NEWSWORTHY NETWORK

a division of Data Central Corporation

Personnel Management Dept.

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PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION - CONFIDENTIAL

 

EMPLOYEE #16

COMPANY PSYCHOLOGIST: Dr. Fritz Leberhosen

EMPLOYEE NAME: Benedict, William Barnes

ADDRESS: 1178 Gable Blvd., Hollywood Park, OKC Sector West

POSITION: Vice-President in Charge of Humor Research & Processing

EMPLOYEE SINCE: 1982

DATE OF BIRTH: June 22, 1956

HEIGHT: 5'9"

WEIGHT: 235

HAIR: blonde

EYES: blue

SPOUSE (IF ANY): Sarah Lucille Vandergeld Benedict

SPOUSE'S EMPLOYER: Newsworthy Network (Production Dept.)

EDUCATION: Bachelor of Arts, Class of '78, Darlington College, Darlington TN. (art major)

MEDICAL HISTORY: Overweight. Depressed. No major diseases, operations or accidents.

FAMILY HISTORY: Abandoned by mother at age nine (with older brother Jeremy). Brother killed in car racing incident during high school. While away at college, father suicided after foreclosure on dairy farm. Remaining family ties negligible.

SEXUAL HISTORY: Married three decades to same woman -- increasingly abnormal. Watch for extramarital pressure-release. Possibly useful erotic obsessions.

CURRENT SYMPTOMS: Suicidal behavior patterns; resistance to legitimate authority; infantile jokes in the face of serious issues; recurring mid-life anxieties.

RECURRENT SYMPTOMS: Same.

DIAGNOSIS: Millennial Survivor's Guilt Syndrome.

PRESCRIPTION: 70 cc Melodram daily

PROGNOSIS: Possibly past successful resolution; lost motivation to get well; resists medication.

RECOMMENDATION: Keep under surveillance at all times; seek cooperation from home data module to regulate medication. Refer to Euthanasia Parlor?

 

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